Feeling a bit broken but its ok

Feeling a bit broken but its ok

A year ago I had major limb reconstruction surgery, where I had my leg broken in two places. The journey of recovery has been more difficult than I expected, but has made me really reflect on what the most important things in life are. When something is broken in this day and age we throw it away. We rarely take the time to mend anything, it’s quicker just to get a new replacement because things are not built to last in the throwaway culture of today. Recently I bought some super glue. Generally, superglue is used to fix something that is broken – the idea is to attempt to glue the…

Read Article →
God won’t give you more than you can bear? Really?

God won’t give you more than you can bear? Really?

In June myself and my friend Singer-Song Andy Flanagan went on a tour “When Faith Gets Shaken” on the back of my book. To be honest I didn’t really know what to expect as had never done anything like this before. I had that very uncomfortable feeling and was filled with conflicting thoughts and fears: Will anyone come? Will it be helpful to people? I don’t want to come across as self–promoting yet at the same time I want people to read the book. I don’t want to be referred to as a Christian Celebrity yet I want to do the tour Argh argh what to do? I spend too…

Read Article →
Showreel Time

Showreel Time

It’s come to that time of year when I need to sit down and start writing lots of talks for the summer festivals. After a year of doing hardly any talks it’s a bit strange to be back in that process but it’s nice to be in a place where I can go out and speak and I’m looking forward to meeting people again. The last year has been a rollercoaster for me and my family and sometimes I still feel unsure whether I’m coming or going. I am going back to the hospital soon to start the conversation about when I should get the second leg operated on and…

Read Article →
Vulnerability: the Journey Back

Vulnerability: the Journey Back

Whilst having limb reconstruction surgery it is suggested that you meet regularly with a therapist. The consultant explains that what happens to us physically also has an effect on us emotionally and mentally. “Most people get the frames taken off and then think they are fine. But in reality, you’re still recovering,” said my therapist. I could understand what she was saying but nevertheless thought it was time to throw myself back into things, get back to how life used to be. All the jobs that I couldn’t do before I could now do; picking the kids up, cutting the grass etc, so I just went for it. I thought…

Read Article →
Have I ever had peace?

Have I ever had peace?

Four months after surgery I find myself at yet another hospital appointment, hoping for good news.  If I am honest though, I am trying not to get my hopes up too much so that if it doesn’t work out then I am not too disappointed.  Have you ever done that? Could it be possible that the huge frame attached to my leg could come off and I can start the next part of the process of getting back on my feet (literally)? This would mean I would need to go back on crutches but at least for this leg the frame would be gone. The one thing making me nervous…

Read Article →
Standing Stubbornly Nowhere

Standing Stubbornly Nowhere

My limb reconstruction operation was three months ago now, but it feels a lot longer. Suddenly the pace of my life took a dramatic change in so many ways. I found it frustrating as I love to plan and look to the future to what we can achieve, but for many weeks I couldn’t tell what the next day would bring, let alone plan anything else. I also found it hard not being able to help Diane – hearing Caleb our youngest child cry and not being able to pick him up, or seeing Diane get more and more tired as I couldn’t help clear up after dinner or drop…

Read Article →
Rethinking Courage

Rethinking Courage

Three weeks ago I had major limb reconstruction surgery. I was diagnosed five years ago with a degenerative condition on both knees which needed to be corrected by surgery, but I managed to put the operation off until now. I get very anxious around hospitals and with lots of ongoing health issues with my four children I just didn’t want to do it. In addition, I love what I do and wanted to make sure XLP was in good shape. On 10th October I went into theatre just before 9.00am and came back onto the ward at 3.30pm. We were told the operation had gone well.  The Fibula and Tibia…

Read Article →