Courage does not always roar

Courage does not always roar

As some of you know I have a degenerative knee problem which requires major limb reconstruction surgery, they need to break my right leg above the ankle and knee and then attached a large circular frame with three metal rings circling my leg ankle, shin and just below the knee. These rings would be linked by twelve metal struts that would have to be moved slowly to set the bones correctly and to allow the bone to grow into the gaps created. The frame is on for around 6 months to 12 months.

At the moment the operation is scheduled for the 30th June at Kings College Hospital London though apparently they often get cancelled, I have been on the waiting list for 14 months. I am letting you know for two reasons. The main reason we is we would appreciate your prayers there is risk of infection after the operation & whilst the frame is on and obviously we don’t want that to happen, also my daughter Abigail fell at school last week and broke her leg and is currently in plaster for 5 weeks.

The questions I asked last time have come back, Am I in enough pain to warrant the operation? Should I try and hang on a bit longer? What toil will all this take on family? Will I react better this time or will it take me to breaking point again? Will the frame have to be on longer that last time (the consultant likes to remind me: each operation is different) and will I manage to avoid pin site infections again? People keep asking if it’s easier or harder knowing what is going to happen, and the truth is little of both. I still have lots of unanswered questions but I’m slowly learning to accept uncertainty and trust that God is for me and with me, whether I feel him or not.

I appreciate there are so many people who are going through things much harder things than I will have to bear in the next year, I guess it would be good for all us to remember though the good and very tough days that we need to keep going, we need to keep showing courage, my favourite quote is

“Courage does not always roar but sometimes is the quiet voice that says I will try again tomorrow” – Mary Anne Radmacher

I made this DVD a while ago this clip is just over a minute long I hope it encourages someone out there today, you are not alone 🙂